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Cat's Diary vs. Dog's Diary

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY

Day number 180
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 181
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE!

Day number 182
8:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
9:40 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
11:30 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
12:00 noon - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:30 pm - ooooooo. bath. bummer.
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 PM - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
5:30 PM - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVOURITE

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture...Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this On their bed.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Not working according to plan.

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still LODGED between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event, however, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my activities. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

-Author Unknown

私は猫ダイアリータイプだわ。陰湿...笑。
[PR]
by uk_alien | 2008-09-30 01:09 | animals | Comments(2)

Having a break


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[PR]
by uk_alien | 2008-09-17 07:50 | holiday | Comments(4)

Everybody, the sun's out!

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うぉへーい!
[PR]
by uk_alien | 2008-09-15 02:04 | great about it | Comments(2)

春、とびまして、秋冬

今年は夏は姿を見せず。

こさむい春から初夏が過ぎ、いまかいまかとイギリス国民総勢が期待を膨らませた7月8月はあえなく過ぎ、夏はついに来ず。

そして今は秋、しかも寒く湿った秋。

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土曜の朝、ほんのわずか姿を見せた太陽は以降ぶ厚い雲に覆われ、続くは雨、雨、雨。
僅かに残されたインディアンサマーへの期待もどうやらかなわないよう。

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皆にならって辛抱強く来年の夏を夢見よう。
[PR]
by uk_alien | 2008-09-07 23:21 | misfortune | Comments(3)

On the bus

Using the public transport for commuting could be fairly unpleasant from time to time, but after my recent car accident and subsequent discovery of the pleasure of not having to drive whilst being able to read on the bus and the train, I have been positively putting up with it.

Everyday I encounter a type of behaviour that some people consider perfectly normal and others not so, especially on the bus.

Yesterday morning, I was immersing myself in the world of Bourne Identity (which is absolutely compelling!) when I realised my bus was not moving at all. I looked up, and saw a policeman coming to the bus driver. It seemed there had just been an accident, so we were to wait for our go for the impromptu traffic diversion.

As we moved a bit forward, the accident scene became clear. It was a head-on collision on the other side of the lane. Judging by the damage of the car fronts, they must have been at about 30-35 mph each. A man had been dragged out of his car and laid on the road, motionless with a portable oxygen mask on his face.

Various emotions were stirred up in me. Initially curiosity, soon taken over by fear, sympathy, worry etc. Then suddenly a young girl behind me uttered ‘Oh, my God!’ and instantly raised herself to walk towards the front of the bus, in order to have a better view, swinging her plump body and clothes which enwrapped it as well as her head, presumably to show modesty in accordance with to her religious belief.

Dismissing a stylish black woman who asked her to remain in her seat with a loud ‘NO. WHY?!’, the girl stood there and watched what was happening for about a good ten minutes. When our bus finally started to move, she came around towards where I was, still watching the busy accident scene intently through the windows so that she didn’t miss anything.

Since she was facing to me now, I had a better look of her face. The expression was of excitement, even joy and slight hint of concern. It looked exactly like a face of a four year old, but there wasn’t a mum who could teach her how to observe such a tragedy in a more humane manner.

Still, she was young, I thought. Perhaps around seventeen to nineteen. Manifestation of strong curiosity in a mindless and animalistic manner does not make one more ruthless than ignorant.

After passing the diversion, the prognosis of our bus journey seemed promising, yet I could not go back to the fictitious world of my book. The accident was too real. I started to feel sick and wondered whether it was me reliving my past, or the fact that the girl behind me was now able to even hum, loudly and off tune, with her curiosity well-satisfied by the unexpected drama on an otherwise boring commute.

Yak.
[PR]
by uk_alien | 2008-09-06 16:49 | misfortune | Comments(1)

London, UK


by uk_alien
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